Surfing the Crimson Wave

While playing with my breasts during a heavy petting sesh with my true blue, I noticed they were quite sore...which can only mean ONE THING! Boys...Man up and read the next few words.. The evil force that is my period is looming over my head like a dark storm cloud with scary lightning bolts crackling around it. Arguably the most inconvenient and irritating time in a woman's life. All us educated females know the ins and outs and horrors of it all...the mood swings, increased sex drive (read on), bursts of tears for no reason, back pain, breast pain, cramps, headaches, nausea, bloating, gas, unpleasant bathroom experiences, a sore Hello Kitty AND a never ending appetite for chocolate and salty things. That lovely list of symptoms barely scratch the surface of what a period does to a woman.

Thankfully there are many remedies to treat these wretched side effects of the simple act of droppin an egg.. but here's my issue. No sex! No masturbation! I must go 3-8 days without the pleasures I enjoy on a bi-hourly basis. Some may say "sex in the shower" or "do it on a towel"...well to those I say, Good for you! I'm happy you can enjoy sex all 30 days of the month. Good for you that the smell of vaginal blood and uterine lining bits all over your genitals and inner thighs doesn't phase you. But I just cannot go down that road. I can't see how you do it.

All in all, a cruel joke, Biology.. makin me literally unable to please myself for a ridiculous amount of time while simultaneously making me Hornier than Ever! I dub the next week Anal/BJ Week! *Bless tampons! ;)