Everything I Know About Sex, I Learned from a John Waters Movie

Forget junior high health class! The king of crude and bizarre comedy, John Waters, is the man who really taught me about sex. His style may make you uncomfortable at first, but by the final scene in any of his movies, you're lettin your hair down and thinkin maybe askin the Fedex guy to join a threesome would be a great idea after all!
When I was 7 years young, I was fortunate enough to watch the movie 'Cry Baby' at a sleepover with one of my girlfriends. That night, the door to my sexual world, which until that point had only been slightly cracked, swung right open with the handle busting a hole in the wall on the other side!
Johnny Depp gave me tingles in all the right spots with his alpha-male swagger and teary eyed vulnerability - just a single tear at a time though..nothing more than absolute necessary to make girl's panties wet. More specifically, a scene (which my mother only managed to censor once out of the two million actual viewings) in which 'Cry Baby' teaches Allison (Amy Locane) how to french kiss, quite explicitly, and cops some tasty feels of Locane's teetons while ravaging her. "Just on the outside of the shirt, okay?" Recalling this scene, even now, makes me hot.

The movie goes on to musically teach us classic lessons like:
-Dress like a slut and get the coolest guy in school
-A girl's "bazooms" are her "weapons"
-There are the good kids and the bad asses, but the gray area in between isn't worth singin about
-A good ol' fashion game of chicken will solve everything

Now, we all have movies that we loved as kids, watched repetitively and maybe still have a ratty vhs copy somewhere, even though you've re-bought it on DVD. 'Cry Baby' was that movie for me.
As time passed, I inhaled John Waters' entire directorial catalog, each movie as perverse and hilarious as the previous. Not to mention informative!

'Pink Flamingos' crossed gross-out lines all over the place with Divine's epic poo-eating scene immersing us head-first into Waters' light-heartedly twisted way of thinking. If you ask anyone under 30 where the term "tea-bagging" came from, they'd say "'Pecker'!" And goodness knows I wouldn't know anything about bears, sploshing, adult infants, upper deckers, feltching or bottoms and tops if it wasn't for 'A Dirty Shame'.

So, my precious perverts, go to Blockbuster tonight, rent a John Waters movie and get ready to spread that mind open, nice and wide.

Easing Into Something New

Figging - A peeled ginger root, shaped like a slender butt plug, inserted into the anus without lubrication of any kind. The ginger juices cause pain and extreme horniness. The person belonging to said anus becomes twitchy, jumpy and very lively. The effect lasts for about 20 minutes or more depending on the freshness and strength of the root juices.

So I did it.. I was at the grocery store tonight and bought myself some ginger. I waited til my boyfriend was asleep and I cut off a tiny piece in the kitchen. I just was so curious to feel what I've been reading about online the past couple weeks. I carved a little round juicy tip from a ginger finger and bent over the kitchen counter with my ass in the air, spread. I just want to ease myself into it, not knowing what to expect so I rubbed it right on my tight pink asshole and eased the tip in just a couple centimeters.. I didn't feel anything at first so i played with it for another couple minutes.. This was about ten minutes ago… my ass is tingly and burrniinng! But in the best most refreshing way. I wish I could feel this all night. In fact I may go try a little more. I must say – as a complete newbie – its a rush like no other! I think I'm hooked for life.. I give the experience 5 stars and recommend EVERYONE try this...

There's a pretty popular vid of Figging that circulates the various porn tubes if you're curious to see what it's all about CLICK HERE to check it out. Caution! NSFW!

CLICK HERE to check out an informative page devoted to figging and step-by-step preparation if you'd like to try too! Enjoy, my lovahs!

Surfing the Crimson Wave

While playing with my breasts during a heavy petting sesh with my true blue, I noticed they were quite sore...which can only mean ONE THING! Boys...Man up and read the next few words.. The evil force that is my period is looming over my head like a dark storm cloud with scary lightning bolts crackling around it. Arguably the most inconvenient and irritating time in a woman's life. All us educated females know the ins and outs and horrors of it all...the mood swings, increased sex drive (read on), bursts of tears for no reason, back pain, breast pain, cramps, headaches, nausea, bloating, gas, unpleasant bathroom experiences, a sore Hello Kitty AND a never ending appetite for chocolate and salty things. That lovely list of symptoms barely scratch the surface of what a period does to a woman.

Thankfully there are many remedies to treat these wretched side effects of the simple act of droppin an egg.. but here's my issue. No sex! No masturbation! I must go 3-8 days without the pleasures I enjoy on a bi-hourly basis. Some may say "sex in the shower" or "do it on a towel"...well to those I say, Good for you! I'm happy you can enjoy sex all 30 days of the month. Good for you that the smell of vaginal blood and uterine lining bits all over your genitals and inner thighs doesn't phase you. But I just cannot go down that road. I can't see how you do it.

All in all, a cruel joke, Biology.. makin me literally unable to please myself for a ridiculous amount of time while simultaneously making me Hornier than Ever! I dub the next week Anal/BJ Week! *Bless tampons! ;)

POM a.k.a. Post Orgasm Munchies

I read an interesting bit on a Perez Hilton blog a few weeks ago mentioning that junk food was as addictive as heroin. A far fetched comparison, but I agree in full as I believe I fully have this addiction. The way a good bag of Doritos or Big Mac can make me feel is about as pleasing and short-lived as any orgasm can be. The thought that proved this to be the case came over me the other day when, Right in the middle of hot, intense sex (truly mind-blowing), I literally thought I can't wait to order take out after this! GAWD its gonna be so good! And even more unsettling is that that little thought brought me about 90% closer to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the pleasure centres of my brain that reacted to my thoughts of sex and post coital munchies must be similar, if not one and the same.
My plan is to fully service myself right after this, since I'm home alone. And of course have a bite right after. Though I don't know what excites me more, the thought of having sensational waves of pleasure wash over my body leaving my senses tingling, or masturbating. =P 

Hello My Gorgeous Sinners

This is my brand new, beautiful blog. It's going to be filled with pure honesty and the dirtiest thoughts and most honest perspectives you'll have read in a while. I'm a 23 year old, delicious caucasian girl with modern ideals and fantastically perverted thoughts. I'm 5'6" with long black hair and the bluest eyes. I'm a perfect hourglass shape with 36E tits, all natural. They're literally the most beautiful tits you'll ever see. I may be biased, but they are. They're literally flawless. My obsession with breasts and my own is only a tiny shred of what I will divulge in my blog. Did I mention my pussy was perfect too?

They say you can use the internet to reveal your true self because everything is anonymous. "Give a man a mask and he'll tell you the truth!" Well this blog is my big, peacock feathered, glittery mardi gras mask! I shall hold nothing back while discussing whatever I like.. and what i like is sex, music, sex, light recreational drug use, sex, books, art, culture, film and television and Sex!


Truth: I'm a self diagnosed sex addict. I say self diagnosed because I know any specialist in their right mind's would diagnose me as such. I have sex with my boyfriend a few times a week, but he's not nearly as sexually driven as I am, but he lets me have my "me" time in the bedroom with my hitachi magic wand and my laptop porn. Straight to the point, I have my "me" time approximately 3-7 times a day. Every orgasm is like a hit of pure ecstasy and its a drug like no other.

Basically I have dirty, or just silly, things on my mind.. all. the. time. And I plan to open your mind to a lot of new things.. and hope that you try some things with me.

Let's get dirty!